Day 1 (New Years Day 2023)

(1/02/2023) A New Year

2022 was bit harsh for my mental health. Expectations, disappointments, reality of life and people were the main genre of the year. Lost some friends (closest ones) for whom I was there, lost someone I happened to started love after 3 years and a lover who never was. As it’s the new year now with same energy, I went down check on mother and dad they were doing fine my dad bought bran whiskey to celebrate, mother watching her sitcoms and Davud Akhundzada’s vlogs. I haven’t spoken a single word for like 2hrs I’m just laying on my bed with complete silence because nothing seems so make feel me better these days, just staring at  the curtains.

Life’s been weird and quiet all I do is wake up follow the same routine(a healthy one) and spend rest of the day staring at the ceiling and missing people by stalking them in the mid of trying to move on from them. Sometime I wake up in midnight and walk out bare foots looking at the sky, the shining stars, the moon with cold breeze rushing inside my ears and forgetting about everything for a while till my feet starts to freeze. I do not find in silence boring now, Have I finally grown up? Now its been around 4 hours of no word spoken and I am kind of lookin forward to it.